[12 Nov 2009|06:15pm] xxxcryingxxx http://www.myspace.com/theflex 2 songs up. Haven't figured a name for it yet so we're just using the Flex as a working title haha. Similar, but different. I think it's way better. Check it out let us know if you are into it. If you book shows we would like to play them. post comment

[12 Nov 2009|06:38am] johnclaude Only two blood draws in and im sick of them. the lady missed my vein the last time. bitch im going to look like a junky 1 comment|post comment

Working night shifts could be a problem... [11 Nov 2009|11:52pm] xchokeanddiex I just got home and I am at the peak of today's energy. What the hell can I do at midnight in Bremerton? post comment

and it goes [11 Nov 2009|11:00pm] hearthandshead complaining is so unattractive but i'm going to do it anyways for a second... i can count the things i like about my life on one hand and it is pissing me off/fucking stupid. i need changes, a lot of them. lost.  my mother isn't the most admirable woman i know, but she doesn't deserve a dog like him. i'd like to kill him. and i rarely wish death on any animate being. there are so many neat people in the world with too much free time.  i wish i were one of them. post comment

[11 Nov 2009|04:19pm] johnclaude i cant wait to sleep when i get to the medical study. im so fucking tired! Hopefully i dont have to do too much bullshit before i can get my room and all that stuff. and hopefully i can sleep well, i hear the beds there suck 1 comment|post comment

Writer's Block: Play it again, Sam [11 Nov 2009|03:00pm] i4ni If you could only listen to one CD for the rest of your life, what would you choose and why? Submitted By lexxyloser View 1753 Answers SikTh - Death of a Dead Day post comment

Zero7 [11 Nov 2009|02:34pm] mutilatedbabe It's never gonna be normal, you and me What you're signing on for Is a storm at sea So if you think you're tough Give me all your love And I'll give you every little piece of me Catch a falling star you'll go far In the pageant of the bizarre And tonight I give you my heart We will never be a nuclear family But a rainbow will begin at our feet And if you take my hand Beware that this boat can Run aground making the ocean floor weep Catch a falling star you'll go far In the pageant of the bizarre And tonight I give you my heart Take a chance on me You're my remedy You may fall indeed You'll find peace with me post comment

[10 Nov 2009|04:37pm] xchokeanddiex Everyone always thought one thing when he meant another, so he just stopped talking. Everyone in the world but him was controlling his life, so he just stopped living. Everyone told him that it wasn't okay for him to die, so he stopped trying to die. So he tried to be nothing, and everyone told him he had to become something. Everything he had tried to become was marked as improper or self-destructive, so he stopped knowing what he wanted to be. Silent. Lifeless. Deathless. Selfless. That's how you make a man into a ghost. So often we take short dips into our own thoughts. We soak our feet in memories or wet our hair with speculation, but we dare not enter the deep end. To immerse ourselves fully in our own thoughts is a foot on the path to madness. Is that how it happened with the twelve people I assisted in counseling today? Did they defy the danger of the long swim? Are they drowning in a world of imagination and introspection? More pertinent: Could I drown myself someday? Will there come a thought someday that so consumes me that I can't help but piss all over myself and forget how to eat? I'm having a very hard time seeing the line between "well" and "sick". I'm having a harder time grappling with whether or not I think such a line exists beyond the legal and medical paperwork. post comment

[10 Nov 2009|03:43pm] johnclaude so i collected my tips today. I didnt really realize that there are separate envelopes for everyones tips.. and when i opened mine up there was 30 bucks!! Wahooooooo. how nice. medical study tomorrow.. and no shcool. so ill go into work early and make dat MONAYY post comment

[10 Nov 2009|09:55pm] coolxrae I'm seriously exhausted. I can't remember the last time I wasn't stressed out at work. I really miss being around ppl I can relate to (as strange as that is since there r a bunch of us at psd who do the same thing) but I feel like no one understands my cases or is on my level. Having friends who do the same job also isn't the same. I guess basically I need my classmates back. I need their positive reinforcements, their understanding, and their encouragement. I wish everybody wasn't so spread out now that we've all graduated. Ugh. I am over qualified for my job. Plain n simple. And its really taking a toll on me. 1 comment|post comment

with the wild wolves around you [10 Nov 2009|11:44am] hearthandshead [ music | bon iver ] doses of cute for your morning commute: albino sea turtle! handful of (albino pygmy) hedgehogs albino baby koala! the only good things about this week are: wednesday off so i can study for bio exam thursday/chem exam next week, my dad is possibly fixing my car today, tony's metal mix (high anticipation), and sunday. but those things are enough. if i can just get a 3.0 in chemistry, maybe a 3.4 in biology, i'll be a happy girl come december 13th or whatever the last day of the quarter is. and i swear to god the next time i go to school, i won't skip nearly as much, i'll dedicate an hour at least to studying daily, two hours on the weekend, i'll make myself balanced meals instead of subsiding solely on fruit and candy and coffee on busy days, etc. etc. etc. all i want for christmas is a properly functioning kidney, and maybe a cottage in the woods with a family of deer living nearby and a roomful of bunny rabbits and a huge library of all the books i want to read and don't have time for. also, a new job because being at the mall voluntarily (albeit, compensated - - - but not nearly enough for the psychological damage) makes me feel like half of a human. it'll all happen soon enough...right?  love s   1 comment|post comment

[10 Nov 2009|08:01am] johnclaude [ mood | cold ] I fell asleep so early last night.. like at 7:30. weird. but i woke up now, so thats good i guess..? I get to take an extra long shower and make a yummy breakfast before i have to work. once again, its fucking freezing in my house 2 comments|post comment

[09 Nov 2009|10:27pm] xchokeanddiex so much bad grammar scared it's gonna wreck our world learn to speak english Soon our generation will be the one to rule the world. Maybe it's just the crowd I've been exposed to lately, but that thought scares me more and more all the time. Half of the fuckers I see at parties can barely even form a thought that doesn't involve gossip about who is fucking who or the content of their last text message. It's no surprise, really. It occurred to me the other day that maybe there is some kind of devil and he/it is spreading things like atheism and christianity to keep us from unlocking the power in our minds and bodies. So begins my first religious crusade. I wouldn't be thinking any of this in the summer time. No time to think about problems that can't be fixed when you can go outside and have fun. I really need to find some way to get some exercise. Body feels great. Brain is out of shape. 4 comments|post comment

oh well [09 Nov 2009|10:51pm] as_we_please I've been writing a lot of secrets, love letters, hate letters, crush letters, silly poetry on my type writer and mailing them to a friend who lives eight blocks away. I wrote a hate letter rough draft on my type writer then got really mad and sent the final draft via facebook. Oops. Here's some examples of the silly secrets that I write: When I read zines about ladies who are strong, independent women facing their insecurities (Doris, Love Letters to Monsters) I feel really good about being single and want to be more productive. Thank you ladies. I need more positive ladies in my life. Please. When I'm not in love my reflection in the mirror isn't as pretty. It's whatever. It just is. How have I gone my whole life without ever listening to the Lemonheads? They are perfect, besides homeboy being a heroine addict and all. Oh well. 2 comments|post comment

[09 Nov 2009|04:02pm] johnclaude When I was about to leave work today there was a group of old people(not really that old, like 45-50) outside the door yelling and getting in each others faces, and then all the sudden one of the dudes pulled out a knife! Other people broke it up and stuff, but thats weird for that to happen in olympia. post comment

[09 Nov 2009|10:59am] solventsea Funny girl you left the lights on again and you can't fall asleep. It's too bright inside your eyelids for restful sleep. post comment

[09 Nov 2009|09:10am] johnclaude Finished my paper this morning(its due today) I started it on saturday...so obviously its REALLY good.. psych. Im hoping that my teacher is one of the professors that hates grading papers, so he will just read the abstract and based on that give me a grade...Doubt it. Fuck writing papers...seriously. Im so awful at them. but i guess if I actually tried a little harder I would get a better end result... but i just dont really care. school and work for the next 3 dayz post comment

[08 Nov 2009|01:04pm] xxxbennxxx 2 comments|post comment

"It's all a joke. Mother forgive me." [07 Nov 2009|12:55pm] xchokeanddiex I love the song "unforgettable" by Nat King Cole. Especially when played over a scene of Comedian being smashed through his marble countertops and thrown out his apartment window. Human bean juice. Putting things in my backpack right now because I'll be in Tacoma for two days. Sojy sojy sojy sojy sojy. So glad I'm going to actually play music. Ha! I'm already late. Should have been out the door five minutes ago. Had my first day of work yesterday. It was easily the most rewarding day of "work" I've ever had. Goodbyyeeeeeee. post comment

strings [07 Nov 2009|01:03am] hearthandshead 4 cigarettes later, home, safe + sound. remembering weird things: getting drunk with robin before the lykke li show, attempting to funnel vodka into a flask with a rolled up newspaper in the backseat of her car. dancing around with some italian girls. most fun i've ever had at a show. orlando lent me his entire library of salinger (every single one, plus a tree grows in brooklyn) in high school, made me read them all in about a month's time. two boyfriends give me catcher in the rye for christmas, four years apart. they sit next to each other, on shelves, in boxes. i think i have always been the same. i think i used to write bad pre-teen poetry describing cigarette smoke before i ever held one between my lips. in fact, i am sure of it because now i really remember and am slightly embarrassed. listening to sad azure ray songs, which reminds me of logan. and logan plus beth. great job washington (no thanks, pierce county), great job ref 71. "we love to hate." this year was the first time ever i've flipped someone off driving. tonight, i helped my mom crush up garlic in this xxl mortar/pestle type deal tonight for a huge batch of kimchi. fourteen, my dad moved out of our house for a few years because he was having an affair. my ma was afraid, afear'd, of strangers in the night so she kept this pestle, enormous, wooden, under her bed. if i could change things, i'd go back to age eight. full of hope and things. and i'd grow up kinder, sweeter, calmer, neater.  i was terrified driving home tonight. isn't happiness just the most god-awfully delicate thing you can think of?  some girl at work: "the people at the versace outlet didn't give me the time of day!"  ok?? alright. post comment

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